On Monday night, thousands of women (and men) around the world turned their TVs to ABC and watched “The Bachelor.” I was one of those excited women. Now, before y’all stop reading this post because you’re above reality television, hear me out.
The thing I love about The Bachelor is that it shows humanity’s desire for love. Most everything on the show may be fake, but the desires are real. Like, these people are literally going on a reality show to risk public humiliation to find true love. Or as the girls often said on this last season, to find their “fairytale.” It’s so cliché and desperate, but there’s a reason why it’s popular — it shows the sentiments of millions of men and women out in the world. We want love and we want it badly.
As you may or may not know, last night was the finale of the Bachelor and I couldn’t help but cringe in my seat, resisting to throw something at the TV as I watched a beautiful girl (BEAUTIFUL) wrapped around the arms of a man who could not express his feelings for her. Why? Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned from He’s Just Not That Into You it’s that if a guy doesn’t tell you he loves you, it’s because he doesn’t. Our Bachelor, Juan Pablo, is so obviously resisting any questions about feelings that I wonder how in the world he even became The Bachelor. I mean, this show is ALL ABOUT feelings.
So, I cringe in my seat and watch the girl Juan Pablo has chosen gaze into his eyes.
And I wonder if she is suppressing her true feelings.
And I want to tell this beautiful girl in her beautiful red dress that she is loved and she does not have to settle for someone who doesn’t feel the same way for her.
And I want to cry for her because I wonder if she really knows she is loved. Even if it’s not by Juan Pablo.
And I want to wrap my own arms around this girl and tell her that those desires she has for commitment and love and happily ever after are REAL because God put them in her.
And I want to scream some sense into her and tell her that this boy will never complete her.
And I want her to know that when she cried after first realizing Juan Pablo didn’t love her, that it’s okay to cry. And it’s okay to walk away. And it’s okay to want more.
And I almost dare to cast the first stone, but I stop because I know this girl is me. And it is you. It is us. We want more but we always settle for less. We have infinite water waiting for us but constantly run to the cheap versions. To the fakes. To the liars. To the deceitful. To anything but God.
Last night, the contestant The Bachelor did not pick was a girl named Clare. After walking out in a wildly dramatic fashion that made women everywhere clap their hands in admiration, she looked to the camera in tears and said, “Where is the man that makes me feel like I’m worth it, the man who would fight for me? Where’s that man who would fight for me?”
Something about her heartbreak resonated with me so much that it felt like I was looking into a mirror. Because I have said those words. I have wondered, “Who will think I’m worth it? Who will fight for me?” But I remember I have found someone.
The deepest desire of this girl’s heart is to be worth the fight and I feel like we are sisters because it’s mine too. And it’s the desire of the girls I meet with on a weekly basis at New Mexico State University. It’s in the eyes of the girls I see at church and in coffee shops and on the street corners.
Who will fight for us?
I look at this girl with the mascara running down her cheeks and want to scream at her one name: JESUS!
It makes me want to cringe all over again because though I say it is Jesus, I wonder if I believe it. If I believe it, am I living like I do?
Who will fight for me? Who will want me?
Only one person will do.
Jesus fought battles because he desired us. He wanted us. He thought we were worth a bruised and bloody fight. He died because he loved us. Because he believed we were worth it. So those girls can keep their “fairytales” because they will never compare to the story that has already been told. But I pray they one day come to realize their aching hearts will never be whole without the Carpenter.
And I pray that when the nights are long and the days are dry, I remember my own desire for true love is real because my desire is for Jesus.