Today, I woke up full of joy. I woke up rejoicing because God has been good to me. Truth is, He always is even in the “nos” and the doors slamming in my face. In the valley and in the mountains. Where I am and where I’ve been.
But I forget this all the time because my mind only meditates on the “what ifs” and “whys.” Sometimes I blame it on me being a 23 year-old because twenty-somethings are “supposed” to be crazy and see the world and have adventurous hearts. I blame my discontent on the fact that I have such a long way to go in life. But in my discontent, I forget God is good.
I am currently going through a study on the life of Joseph and I can’t help but feel like it is the most timely thing that could have come into my life.
Joseph was a man who didn’t do much to deserve the hostility bestowed upon him. It wasn’t his fault he was his father’s favorite. He never asked for the robe of many colors. He was blessed and then misfortune happened. Jealousy. His brothers sold him into slavery and there he waited for years, and what do I read? “…the blessing of the Lord was on all that he had, in house and field.”
God was with Joseph even when he was enslaved.
Then, one unfortunate day he was wrongly accused of a crime he didn’t commit, and was sent to prison. I wonder what he felt being in that place. Surely he must have questioned whether or not God was with him! Why had God let this happen? And then I read, “The keeper of the prison paid no attention to anything that was in Joseph’s charge, because the Lord was with him. And whatever he did, the Lord made it succeed.”
Even in the prison, in the darkness, God was with him. Through it all, He was with Joseph. Through. it. all.
What happened after this unfortunate accident? Joseph interpreted the dreams of two prisoners and asked that they remember him when they talked to Pharaoh. What happened? They forgot him. One of the prisoners forgot for two years! Again, I wonder what Joseph must have felt. He must have longed to go somewhere else, but he couldn’t. He stayed faithful where he was because it was the only thing he could do.
Then, one bright and shining day, the prisoner remembered Joseph and Joseph was able to interpret Pharaoh’s dream. In one quick moment, he goes from being a prisoner to being second only to Pharaoh. And what do I read? The verse that I long to call my own: “For God has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction.”
God was with him always. Joseph stayed faithful to God in the lows, and God eventually led him to a different place.
I long to be like this — faithful, even when nothing is understood and the future is a haze. I long to end my discontent and do what God has called me to do now. I long to stop gazing into the unknown with a telescope, trying to catch a glimpse of an ever confusing future, and focus on what is already known and seen. Today’s knowledge was yesterday’s mystery, and I suspect it will be like that for the rest of my life.
Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.
Truth is, I spend a lot of my time asking God where I’m going rather than praising Him for where I am.
But God isn’t in a box and only jumps out to do wonderful things based on our location or how good we are or how much we’re doing in the world. He’s here. Right now. Right where we are. Here.
Even here in the confusion, in the wondering, in the questioning, God is and God will always be.