I didn’t expect to sit at my computer today and write this post. I have other posts sitting in my drafts waiting to be finished. I have a song I need to practice. I need to exercise. I have several video blogs sitting in my timeline longing to be edited.
But here I am, in front of my computer nearly breaking down in tears because I need to give praise to my Jesus.
If you didn’t know, I used to blog back in college. Every now and then, I’ll receive a comment from my old blog to remind me of its’ existence. Just today, I received one from a girl on a post about God’s faithfulness during my college years. And boy, did it bring me back.
Because even though I know God is faithful, sometimes I just forget. I need to be reminded. My mind is fickle and finite and focuses on the “now.” I am so near-sighted it hurts.
Truth is, lately I’ve been worrying so much about the future that I’ve cried out to God in agony on several occasions, face to the floor until my face has grown red. “Why aren’t you doing something?” I’ve exclaimed. “Where are you?” I’ve cried. “If you see, why aren’t you doing anything?” I’ve screamed.
Like all souls, mine needs to be reminded that God is faithful. I need to be reminded of this often. Every minute of every hour of every day. Maybe then will it sink in. God comes through for His own. God isn’t far off, playing games with us like we’re chess pieces on the board of life. He isn’t cruel, laughing at us as we pray for guidance.
When it doesn’t seem like God has a plan and we’re just walking on the edge alone, remember that GOD IS THERE.
One of my favorite stories is The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis. In the story, a boy has many troubles and near-death experiences. Towards the end, he is walking through a fog and has no idea where he is going. Suddenly, he senses a presence with him. He starts talking with the creature about his misfortunes in life. It is then revealed that the creature he is talking with is actually a lion who has been protecting and guiding him throughout the entire story. This lion was in those near-death experiences, even when the boy thought he was alone and it was merely by chance that he survived.
This is just like God. We can cry out to God about our misfortunes, about the closed doors and frustrations, when all the while God is there saying, “I’m the one who closed that door. I’m the one who protected you in this experience, though you only saw the bad in it. I’m the one who has been guiding you your entire life.”
If only we knew!
Looking back at my own life, I have seen God’s faithfulness and provision in ways that I can only declare, “It must have been God.” There’s no way I would be in Korea right now if it weren’t for God. Do you think I ever had a desire to be here? Don’t you know I had other plans for my life? Korea wasn’t part of the plan.
But here I am. On one of the most beautiful islands in Korea, teaching teenagers, helping North Korean refugees, continually writing that book I hope will one day get published, traveling the world, and making lifelong friendships with men and women I didn’t even know existed a year ago.
My goodness. It only could have been God.
God knew that I loved traveling. He knew that I always wanted to live near the ocean. He knew I loved green scenery and thus brought me to a place that is FULL of the most beautiful green pastures. He knew I had a passion to reach out to youth. He knew I prayed to work with North Koreans. He knew of my desire to help. He knew I wanted to write and thus gave me a job where I have free time to finish that book. He knew I needed to get out of my comfort zone and be bold enough to make new friends. He knew all of this from the start. Even in the doubt and the hurting and when I was walking blindly through the desert. He knows me so much better than I know myself.
It makes me weep.
God, you know me. Thank you for knowing me.
And you, my dear friends. I just want you to know that God is faithful. My goodness is He faithful.
Scream it from the valley you’re in. Shout it while you walk blindly through the fog. Dance with this knowledge in the middle of your setback. Write it on your heart, on your skin, on your eyelids if you need to.
Just make sure it gets through somehow.
I have seen God’s faithfulness and I want you to also know that God is faithful.
Let me declare it to you because we all need to be reminded. God has seen those closed doors. He knows how much those seemingly unanswered prayers hurt. He too once prayed in a garden for the cup of suffering to be passed over him if possible. He had to suffer through it anyways.
But that closed door isn’t the end. Get up off that tear-stained floor, lift your red face to the sky.